


It's Too Late (to apologize)

by JoannaC



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Days Gone Bye, Gen, I listened to Apologize by OneRepublic a lot while writing this (obviously), LoRick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 20:20:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoannaC/pseuds/JoannaC
Summary: Some insight into Lori’s and Rick’s big fight mentioned in the episode “Days Gone Bye”.Sorry for any errors-english is not my first language.
Relationships: Rick Grimes/Lori Grimes
Kudos: 4





	It's Too Late (to apologize)

"I don’t even know if you care about us anymore” the words left her mouth in a blast of rage and for a nick of second, the malice behind it made her oddly content and exhilarated.

With her face burning and eyes wide she stared at her husband, waiting for his wrath. Wanting it.

_ Here you go, aren’t you hurt enough? Lash out on me! Go! _

But Rick’s gaze centered somewhere over her left shoulder, and she turned abruptly to see Carl standing in the kitchen doorway, his little frame slouched, eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

Bewildered she looked back at Rick, only to find contempt etched on his handsome face. Grayness seeped into the blue of his irises as his gaze settled on her and hardened like congealing cement.

“Get a hold of yourself” - the low, unpleasant tone of his voice, cutting in like a razor.

Curt, icy words.

He left her there, exhausted and numb in the cold hallway as their son’s eyes burned holes in the back of her head.

&&&

Ahh! A stitch. Which was funny because she wasn’t even walking, let alone running.

Pressing fingers tightly to her side Lori bent slightly over a coffee table and the weird sensation slowly abated. She took a deep breath and tried to get back to reading, but uneasy feeling gnawed at the corners of her mind.

_Something’s wrong _

Suddenly she felt off and edgy, blamed it on that disastrous morning clash in the hallway. Tears welled up in her eyes at the memory, but she refused to let them fall. She was stronger than that.

&&&

_Lori I’m sorry I’m so sorry I love you I’m sorry_ The frenzy loop of thoughts.

Shane’s hands pressed harder and the excruciating pain made Rick realize, with blinding clarity, that he was dying.

_No second chances. No forgiveness. No hope. _

*Panic*

In the waning, last flash of consciousness his own voice echoed acridly in his mind – _Get a hold of yourself_

&&&

The cruisers pulling over appeared at the periphery of her vision and she was already walking towards them.

_They come in pairs…they come in pairs when… _

Shane left the car, his footfall heavy, his gaze roaming, anywhere but her face.

And she thought – _The moment I’ve been fearing all my married life is here. It arrived. _

Her mind told her _He’s dead_, but her lips asked “Is he alive?”.

&&&

The young blonde nurse called her “Mrs. Grimes” and put something in her hand.

She knew what it was even before the cold metal burnt the center of her palm. She held her fist closed tightly, then relaxed her fingers.

The fluorescent light reflected on the white gold and in the blinding flash, inside the inner edge of the ring, right where her name was engraved, she saw the tiny little bits of blood stuck, already oxidized and rusty.

Bile rose in her throat and some muffled sound escaped her as she bent over.

_Get a hold of yourself_

**Author's Note:**

> In the first scene of “Days Gone Bye” Rick tells Shane what Lori told him during their big fight so I presumed these were the last words she said to him before he got shot. It made me wonder what were Rick’s last words to her.
> 
> I got the idea of Lori getting a physical reaction at the moment Rick got shot, from Sarah Wayne Callies saying in one of interviews that “Rick and Lori love each other at a cellular level”.
> 
> Additional visual for this flash-fic:
> 
> https://imgur.com/a/EkXAeuK


End file.
